THIS BOOK IS GAY by Juno Dawson is a great universal read to learn more about lesbian, bisexual, queer, transgender, intersex, straight, and curious. It tackles sex, politics, stereotypes, coming out, etc. It is a uncensored exploration of sexuality and LGBTQIA+

In the beginning of the book the author discusses how their life has changed as well. Juno writes, “I’ve now lived as both James and Juno- and have new perspectives on life as a transgender woman. 

Below are some of my favorite excerpts from the book:

Long before you “come out” and tell people about your identity, it’s just you and your brain trying to figure it out, so it can also be a lonely time. 

It all starts with wondering. 

The percentage of American adults identifying as LGBTQ+ was 4.5%, which equates to more than 11 million people- roughly the number of people who live in Ohio. 

Being transgender has nothing to do with who you want to do sexytime with- it’s about gender.

When people go through gender transition, their sexual feelings may or may not change too. This means that some transgender people are also gay or lesbian. Those people may have to contend with both transphobia AND homophobia, so they need twice the support. 

Freud called it “transference”. This basically means that you hate in others what you hate about yourself. 

The word lesbian is derived from the name of the island of Lesbos, where a Greek poet called Sappho ran her own sixty-century BCE version of The L Word. She gathered a whole gang of girls in the sunshine and wrote poems about how hot they were. Fast-forward twenty five hundred years, to around the turn of the twentieth century, and women were seeking a name for a growing subculture that was gaining visibility and status. Coined the name “lesbian”, which before then had been used to describe anything “of Lesbos”. 

The word “gay” started life meaning joyful, carefree, bright, and showy, from the French term “gaiety”, which is still used. 

By the 1990s, it was decided that “gay” was the preferred and politically correct way to refer to men who have sex with men and women who have sex with women. 

The people of ancient Greece and Rome were generally pansexual (people who are attracted to people regardless of their gender or sexuality). 

Queer means not having to define your sexual identity or gender with just one label. 

Asexual people MAY have sex- to have kids, to try it out, or to experiment- but asexual people will characteristically have little desire for either men or women. 

Aromantic is similar to asexual. Aromantic peeps may well feel platonic love for their friends or families but have little or no interest in forming romantic relationships. 

Transgender: This is an umbrella term for all people who experiment with or move between genders. 

Transsexual: A person who feels they were born into the wrong gender. Will sometimes seek to correct their gender, sometimes with surgery.

Transvestite: A cross-dresser is someone who enjoys wearing the clothes traditionally assigned to the opposite sex, mostly for fun. 

As Chaz Bono once said, “Gender is between your ears, not your legs.” and that’s so true. As we can’t know if being male feels one way and being female feels different, all we can ever control is how we wish to express our personal identities. 

Cisgender is basically the opposite of transgender. It simply means when your gender identity matches the identity you were given at birth. 

We have little control over our sexual desires or gender even if we do have control over our identity. 

The word “camp” is often applied to gay men, although anything can be camp. Camp means excessive, flamboyant, kitsch, and theatrical but also sophisticated, witty, and subversive behavior or things. 

In certain parts of South Africa, “corrective rape” is a terrible, heartbreaking practice whereby gay women (as many as an estimated ten a week) are raped or gang-raped “for their own good” to turn them heterosexual. 

If a younger person has grown up with parents who have tutted every time a gay couple pops up on TV, they have been sent an unequivocal message that people do not approve of LGBTQ+ people. 

However thick our skin is, I imagine even the toughest young LGBTQ+ person has thought, “Oh God, this isn’t going to be easy”. And it isn’t. Ever. Although we may be please we’ve figured ourselves out AND we may have the most supportive parents or caretakers in the Universe, we all KNOW we’re coming out into a world that is littered with hatefulness. BUT it’s this adversity that makes LGBTQ+ people strong. It’s why we call ourselves proud. If you can recognize how much hate there is in the world and still come out as LGBTQ+, you, my friend, are a fighter. 

BEARD= a pretty woman attached to the arm of a closeted man to convince the rest of the world he is a straight, manly man, hence “beard”. 

Lavender Marriage= a fake marriage designed to make husband, wife, or both appear heterosexual in the public eye. 

By LAW a school has to tackle all forms of bullying AND provide a safe space. 

If you tell someone, it’ll only get worse, right? WRONG. Your silence is what people rely on to control you. Bullying is all about power and control. If you play along wit what your aggressor wants, you are giving them all the power. 

The average age at which people usually “come out” as gay, lesbian, or bi is now 17 years old. 

The term coming out- In the olden days fancy young society women, known as debutantes, were dressed up and paraded around for potential suitors and the like. These events were known as “coming out parties”, and this is where we get the term “coming out”. Before the first World War, the phrase meant more to come out into society. 

There are 80 countries where men and women can be prosecuted for having sex with someone of the same gender. 

There is one important thing to remember- people don’t fall in love with genitalia. 

Early boyfriends or girlfriends, however, are FAB because it gives you a taste of what being in a relationship is like, teaches you how to compromise, and allows you to establish what you like and don’t like. 

“None of the arguments against gay parenting make much sense to me because they basically seem to fall into 2 categories: 1. Children need a mother and a father because they bring different things to the family- this makes as much sense to me as saying, ‘Children need one musical parents and one scientific parent’ or ‘Children need one humorous parent and one very serious parent’. Obviously, different people will bring different things to a child’s upbringing, but insisting it must be one man and one woman seems random. The “nature” argument never stands up that well either. “Children will be bullied if they have gay parents”- kids can be bullied for any number of things, and that’s not really a basis to say those things shouldn’t happen. In time, having gay parents will be as unremarkable as having divorced parents. 

Bert and Ernie: The Sesame Street couple finally came out on the cover of New Yorker when a key part of the United States’ Defense of Marriage Act was struck down by that country’s Supreme Court in 2013. 

Being a parent of an LGBTQ+ child is challenging, but only in the way that being a parent is challenging. 

Is your child transgender or gender nonbinary? Here, you have a choice: you either let your child express their gender in a way that feels authentic and correct for them, or you insist they go through life feeling hugely uncomfortable. 

If you are a parent who is starting to suspect your child may be LGBT*, you would do a fantastic job to let them know how cool you are with that. Let them know, subtly, that you’re open-minded; let them know that you’re there to listen; don’t turn off the TV when lesbians come on. Use gay characters on TV as a talking point to display your coolness with the gay community- that way your son or daughter is much more likely to open up to you. 

Be cool about it, even if you’re slightly freaking out inside. And ASK YOUR CHILD what they would like you to say to others, how they would like to be represented to the larger world by you. And then STICK TO THAT. It builds trust with your child and enables them to be comfortable in their life and progress at their own pace. Allow them to control their own narrative.

LET THEM BE. If they want to talk to you about it, they will. The best thing you can do is try to let them know that you’re okay with it (in a subtle way, not saying outright to them, “it’s okay if you’re gay, you know”).

If you really want them to trust you, make sure that you create a space in which they feel safe and comfortable talking to you. It is your responsibility to make them feel like they can trust you. 

Allow them to talk freely and openly about who they are and respond with nothing but love and compassion, and stress to them that there is nothing wrong with them. 

I think it’s up to you as a parent to know if your child will respond well to a very direct approach. 

Your child’s identity is a part of them that has always been there. They haven’t even changed; it’s just that now you’re seeing the whole picture- IT’S BUTTERFLY TIME. 

If you would like to purchase this book, you can get it HERE!

 

 

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